Just Gotta Make It

"Come on monkey." an exhausted Nicki stood in her bedroom that doubled as a nursery for her son. With his fusing it was almost impossible to get the green shirt over his head.

"Pickle!" The 2-year old yelled pumping his fist in the air. Nicki grabbed a near-by toy and gave it to the toddler to occupy him as she got him dressed.

"After you get dressed." Nicki pulled the small arms through the arms of the shirt before sitting him back inside his crib as she went to get her bookbag and books from her bed. The small room gave Nicki little privacy and very little rest. Slinging the bag over one shoulder she grabbed the sky blue baby bag from the door and slung it over the other arm. She picked up CJ from his bed and placed him on her hip before grabbing the two text books. Balancing it all she bumped the light switch with her elbow and left out of her room.

"Pickle!" CJ yelled once again.

"Cereal!" Nicki smiled at her son trying to change his mind as the two walked out of the one bedroom apartment. He shook his head.

"Pickle!" Nicki laughed as she turned to lock the door to the place she called home.

"Fine." Nicki smiled giving in, like always. Walking out of the apartment building she became nervous walking down the street. She held CJ close as she was stared down by men on the block. Nobody compared to Nicki's beauty, nor her innocence,. The streets of SouthSide Jamaica Queens were always packed with the drug dealers, wanna-be's, skanks... You name it Nicki saw it.

"I did it." CJ suddenly said and Nicki's eyes widened as she felt moisture on her side. CJ smiled thinking he had done a good deed when in all actuality he had ruined Nicki's outfit and made her late for school...Again. Nicki let CJ down to his feet as she looked at his soaked pants and her shirt. "I did it." CJ repeated.

"No baby. You supposed to go in the potty." Nicki looked at her shirt and looked up to see she just missed her bus. Great. Just great. Nicki picked up CJ and power walked back to the apartment. Potty training is the hardest thing right next to the teething faze.


2 hours later, after Nicki's shower, bathing CJ , feeding him breakfast and catching the bus they were finally infront of their first destination. Nicki knocked on the door as CJ lay on her shoulder sleep. "Who is it?" Nicki heard the voice say behind the door. That distinctive smokers voice.

"Onika!" Nicki yelled into the steel door as her foot tapped impatiently. She heard the deadbolts being unlocked and then seen the 45 year old face starring at her with a packet full of newports in her hand. She hated that CJ had to be around that and if she could, she'd stay home with him just so he wouldn't have to. Nicki nudged CJ waking him up, and he wrapped his arms around her neck not wanting to be put down.

"Now Onika --"

"I know Ms. Jackson. He had an accident this morning. He should be fine though, I fed him breakfast." Nicki tried to explain as Ms. Jackson lit a cigarette and scolded the 17 year old. "He has his inhaler in his bag." Nicki tried to remind the lady that her son had asthma subtly. She didn't seem to catch the hint as she took another puff.

"Onika, I'm not one of your friends, or your auntie or uncle. I'm running a business here not a charity case."

"I know.". Nicki responded.

"You got my money."

"Please just give me today and I promise I'll have it by tomorrow, first thing." Nicki pleaded as CJ wrapped his legs around her. Ms. Jackson studied the young girl. "Please, just one more day." Nicki pleaded.

"Let this be the last time." Ms. Jackson finally gave in. Nicki kneeled down and CJ immediately began to whimper as they went through this every morning.

"C'mon baby. Be a big boy for Mommy." Nicki looked into her son's face as the tears sat in his eyes, breaking her heart.

"I no wanna." He shook his head feverishly.

"I'll be back, like always." Nicki said. "And we can eat pickles." CJ raised his head at the sound of his new favorite snack.

"Pickles?" Nicki chuckled.

"Yea. Pickles" She nodded. CJ wrapped his arms around her and she patted his back. She heard the other kids in Ms. Jackson's house playing around, she wondered how many of their parents had to go through this heartbreak everyday like she did. "So are you going to be a good boy?" He nodded. "And mind Ms. Jackson,." He nodded again, "Smooch?" Nicki puckered her lips and received a kiss from her son before she rubbed his head full of curls and handed him off to Ms. Jackson. "Love you." She blew him a kiss and he caught it bringing it to his lips.

"3:00 Onika." Ms. Jackson said firmly.

"Thank you so much." Nicki said handing her the babybag and rushing off the steps to school. A place that she knew she had to go to for a better future but that didn't mean she liked it. Getting pregnant Freshmen year doesn't exactly put you at the top of the social chain. Nicki fished through her pockets pulling out $1.50 when she spotted her bus. After paying Nicki sat down knowing she missed 1- 3rd block already. She leaned her head back as she took the ride to school. With the parents leaving her pregnant and on the streets, rides where she could atleast pretend to be a normal teen, helped her keep her sanity. She loved CJ to death but sometimes she wished she wasn't so Naïve and caught up in a fairytale, that turned out to be a nightmare.